


An equivalent exchange of pancakes and kisses

by SakuPenguin



Category: Inazuma Eleven, Inazuma Eleven: Ares no Tenbin
Genre: Angst, But just a little, How Do I Tag, M/M, Nightmares, cos they´re both trans, fudou is a good person ok, fusaku, inappropriate use of binders, nb Sakuma, uhhhhhhh fluff
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-03-01 03:06:53
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 2,683
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23358238
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/SakuPenguin/pseuds/SakuPenguin
Summary: Sometimes they had dreamsNights when they dreamed of other worlds, other realitiesThere were aliens and demons, they met strange people and traveled around the worldAnd sakuma wasn´t a exception, but that night the dream was a nightmareAnd Fudou was the demon
Relationships: Fudou Akio/Sakuma Jirou
Kudos: 11





	An equivalent exchange of pancakes and kisses

**Author's Note:**

> I´m a disaster, I know  
> And I can´t write in English so ... sorry for all the mistakes....^^"

He opened his eyes slowly as the sun slipped through the curtains. The alarm hadn't sounded yet and he didn't know what time it was, but he assumed that it was early, more so than usual. And that was saying something, as he had never gotten up as early as when he entered Teikoku, when he didn't have morning training and there was some sort of horrible, exhausting class. Like shooting. Or cooking. Or that stupid compulsory music club. Fucking military school.

He tried to move, to get out of the narrow bed to get his cell phone, but something kept him from doing so. To be more precise, someone. Sakuma's arm wouldn't let him move, holding him tightly, their head resting against his shoulder and tear stains on their cheeks. He turned slowly to get a better look at his friend; Sakuma had dark circles under their eyes, but at least they seemed calmer and more relaxed, still exhausted, but their brow was no longer furrowed. Sakuma had been walking without even lifting their feet from the ground for days, exhausted and tense, as if even the air around them was too heavy. Now they at least seemed somewhat more rested. He pulled their hair out of Sakuma´s face slowly and more lovingly than he used to and stroked their face gently, not wanting to wake them, but he needed to move. Sakuma slowly opened their eye, confused about where they was. The sheets smelled of Fudou...cheap deodorant, vanilla and hair dye. They was surprised how that mixture didn’t bother them anymore; now it was almost comforting. That was Fudou's room, but how they had gotten there was still a blur.

Fudou's voice was hoarse from sleep, without his usual pomp, when he asked them to wake up. All Sakuma heard was their name. _Jirou._ Fudou’s fingers felt comforting against their cheek, and they wanted to stay there and let themself be enveloped by a sense of calmness and security. _Jirou_. He shrugged as he held the other tighter, their breathing the only sound in the small room. _Jirou_. Breathing hurt, and so did moving despite everything, despite the feeling of protection and calm. Every breath was hell. They had fallen asleep wearing their binder, fuck. _Jirou_.

Nothing could be heard in the corridor or the neighboring bedrooms either. Teikoku was still sleeping. Their body felt heavy and stiff, as it always did when they had nightmares...nightmares, that is what had happened. They grabbed Fudou's shirt tightly as they clung to him even tighter. It was one of Genda's, like the ones he wore, like the ones most of the team wore as pijamas after stealing them at sleepovers. Fudou stopped calling out to them, giving up trying to get them down from the cloud Sakuma was in. They didn't want to remember what had led him there that night; they didn't want to remember that dream or the cold on their feet when he walked down the hall to that room barefoot. It was not a long way, just had to pass in front of four doors, but it still had been hell, step after step, only that cold had kept them on the earth and not in their memories, in the images that still haunted Sakuma´s head.

Fudou's hand moved behind their back, holding Sakuma tightly and whispering words that didn´t reach their mind. He felt the other moving to embrace him with their whole body, doing his best to make them feel safe again. Sakuma's breathing quickened, fear invading them again, telling them to step away from Fudou, and a voice in the back of their head telling them to stay, that all was well, that he was where they belonged, but another screaming at them to step away much more strongly. He remembered the nightmare that had led them there, they remembered falling asleep in Fudou's arms after crying for hours or minutes where the fear was no longer real.

In that embrace they felt safe, even more so than in the arms of Genda, and that also frightened them in a certain way. How they could love Fudou so much, how they could trust someone new in their life so much, and how could someone new in their life be okay with embracing and comforting them as if they were not a stranger? Fudou Akio had come into everyone's life as a disastrous, ragged hurricane, throwing Teikoku off balance even more than Kazemaru’s arrival and Kidou’s departure were already doing. But they had adapted. That wind was now normal, and Sakuma missed it every time he was not there. Sometimes being around the other boy frustrated them, but in many more cases they felt comforted. It was like coming home...as if, rather than just months, they had already spent a life together.

They tried to breathe, to pull themself together. Fudou's hand was tangled in their hair, spinning tufts of it between his fingers. They felt his breath very close; it sounded calm and soft in their ear. His other hand caressed Sakuma´s back, moving slowly along their side, noticing the cloth underneath. Fudou reminded himself to resolve the issue as soon as Sakuma calmed down. Sakuma was still agitated. The night before, however, the fear had been even worse.

* * *

The dream began as something quiet. They and Genda were walking together; they didn´t recognize the place, but it seemed to be a port. It smelled of sea and oil, they must have been in an industrial area, Ehime perhaps, by what Fudou had told them about his hometown. They were looking for something, and they didn't know what, but they followed Genda without protest. Then they were running, the roar of blood in their ears. Their legs couldn't take it anymore. Genda was starting to lag behind and Sakuma had to slow down, not wanting to leave the other boy behind. And suddenly pain, the scenes jumping around, something stuck in their chest. Everything was banging and screaming, a purple light enveloping every step, and then he heard something that made their blood run cold. Fudou's laughter, but it was dark and violent. The boy in front of him wasn´t Fudou. Their Fudou didn´t smile like that, he didn´t have that look and did not scream at them in such a cruel way. Fudou Akio joked, but never stepped on certain lines. Fudou Akio would never stand next to Kageyama.

He would never accept his power and his traps, but there he was, being his right hand man, shouting orders in his name.

There was movement, as if they were on a ship. They did not recognize anyone despite how they wore the same uniform as them all. Sakuma remembered talking to the man as he explained some strategy, remembered the blow that followed each fall. Every failure was punished. Every step closer to success didn´t even receive a glance. They remembered feeling short of breath, the feeling of every bone cracking and their body wanting to fall, but then the grudge would invade them, the light would shine and they would stand again, wiping away the blood and demanding another chance.

Suddenly they was on the floor, everything hurt, more screams, more blows. One insult after another from a voice they knew. Fudou's eyes were fixed on their own, bright and wild; almost unrecognizable, that green consumed by the black of his pupils. Genda was screaming on the other side of a football field they didn´t know either, players they had only seen out of the corner of their eye in tournaments crashing into their body. Kidou was there and also were part of Raimon. A cold breath brought Genda down. More screaming and more fighting for that ball. It was like seeing everything through different eyes. They didn't recognize themself. Then they was breaking and screaming, couldn´t stand the pain that Fudou kept pushing into them, didn´t understand why they was doing this to themself, that thye had pushed them to the limit of giving up their life for a stupid game. After one last scream their body stopped moving, but Akio's eyes were still stuck in their mind. The look of contempt when they broke was what made them wake up with a scream and tears in theireyes.

* * *

Their knuckles were pale from clinging to the sheets and their breath was labored; Sakuma was drenched in cold sweat as a chill ran down their back. Trembling from head to toe they could hardly wrap themself in a blanket and go out into the corridor, the cold floor against their skin reminded them of the dream, of the moment when their heart stopped and everything was frozen, cracking like ice. The ice that had defeated Genda. The ice that made them unable to move a single finger. It took them a few minutes to summon up the courage to knock on Fudou's door, and they stood there, staring at their still trembling hands until the door opened. It was four o'clock in the morning, Fudou's hair was a mess, and he turned away to let them in.

There were no questions asked when they sat up in his bed and hugged him tightly, Fudou´s heart beating hard, fast and rhythmic. He smelled the same cheap shampoo as always. He was their Fudou. He was Akio, not the monster of their nightmare. He was the rude but kind boy who was already part of their life, the boy they copied from on their exams and the one who laughed at them for not knowing how to cook, but then left his homework to them. Fudou hugged them for as long as it took, every second that Sakuma broke, every second that their life was about to fall apart, but it didn't thanks to that hug. Both of them didn't say a word, they didn't need to.

It was in those moments that SAkuma´s body gave up and finally fell asleep, still clinging to the other boy with a strength they didn't know they still had.

"Breathe, Jirou...I'm here, nothing is going to happen to you, I'm not going to hurt you..." Fudou's voice finally reached them and they tried to listen, but Sakuma didn't let him go. Not yet. They took slower, deeper breaths. Sakuma´s eyes were still closed tightly and they focused on the cloth under their hands, on the smell of Fudou, on the soft beating of his heart.

Sakuma opened tehir eyes slowly, blinking away the remaining tears, their hand wrapped around Fudou's wrist, pulling his arm away so they could interlace their fingers and caress his hand. Sakuma focused only on that. Fudou's skin was warm, and the cold of sleep was slowly fading.

He laughed softly and Sakuma finally looked at him, smiling wearily, Fudou’s eyes returning to their beautiful green. His hair was falling over his face and Sakuma slowly pulled it back. He had stopped cutting it in the middle of summer and now it was a mess of curls and knots, but it made him look sweeter and kinder. They left their hand on his cheek, never ceasing to caress him or let go of his hand. The sun slipped through the curtains and Fudou's eyes shone brighter than usual, golden flecks on the green. They could spend an entire life under that gaze without getting tired.

"Jirou, we have to get up... you need to take off your binder, okay?" He kept stroking their hair with his free hand. They were a tangle of limbs. "If you let me go I'll go to the kitchen to get some tea and chocolate. We can stay here all day if you want, but you have to eat something and take a shower."

Sakuma leaned Fudou's hand against their own face, hiding themself in the pillow. They didn´t want to move, they did not want to let go of Fudou even for a moment. But the hand in their hair moved down to their waist, sneaking under the fabric of Sakuma´s shirt and suddenly Sakuma was laughing out loud. They hated it when Fudou tickled them, they hated their own laugh, but they couldn't help it. Sakuma felt a strange happiness after the disaster that the night had been. They looked at Fudou between their fingers and kissed the palm of his hand.

"Only if you bring me a lot of chocolate." Sakuma´s voice must have sounded awful after all the crying. "Will you help me?"

Fudou snorted before untangling himself from their body and the sheets. No wonder Sakuma couldn’t move, and Fudou would be lying if he said he had never done the same idiotic thing. He held the other carefully and helped them to sit up, slowly and patiently. Sakuma let out a grunt, but they didn´t complain. Once Sakuma was sitting down, Fudou also helped them to get rid of the shirt, without any protest from the other; they already shared a changing room every day, and it wasn´t the first time they helped each other. Being stuck in a fucking binder wasn´t such a strange situation for them.

"I'll be back soon. It's early, and I might be able to bring you some pancakes." Sakuma's smile lit up the entire room, their eyes still glazed over with sleep at the thought. Fudou rummaged through his things to find hairpins that would allow him to walk the halls of Teikoku and watch the path without hair in his face.

He was about to walk out the door when Sakuma’s voice stopped him.

"Do you think...that dream was more than a dream? That...a version of us would...hurt each other...that...a version of you would hate me?" He looked over his shoulder. Sakuma was still in his bed, wrapped in a blanket and playing with the eyepatch between their fingers. Fudou retraced his steps, holding Sakuma's face in his hands and drawing their faces closer together. The forest and fire clashed as their eyes met. Their breaths mingled.

"Listen to me Sakuma Jirou, there is no version of me that can hate you, because there is no way there is a version of me out there that doesn´t love you." A bludh covering his cheeks as he spoke, Sakuma beginning to laugh, a snort escaping between their lips as he tried to cover their mouth.

"Sap!! Cheesy!! Such a romantic dork... I didn´t expect this from Fudou Akio himself..." Sakuma's voice was faltered with laughter, the most beautiful smile in the world decorating their face. Fudou tried to look away, but his heart couldn´t take his eyes off it. Even with disheveled hair, dark circles under their eyes, and that noisy laughter, Sakuma was the most beautiful thing that he had ever seen. Sakuma's hand rested on his. They still smiled, Sakuma had a dimple, but only one. The right one.

They stretched out and their lips landed on his own. Sakuma tasted of salt. Their lips were rough, he had the mania of biting them when nervous, but that didn´t matter now. His heart would come out of his chest, his head spinning as he tried to kiss back. He'd kissed before, in alleys and high school games. But this felt different, colliding and fitting together, like two hurricanes that collided, but knew each other's rhythms perfectly. Sakuma parted first, their hand tracing Fudou's lips gently.

"Bring me that chocolate and then we can spend the whole day like this," they said softly, a silly smile invading their face.

"Just one day?" he asked back when he was at the door.

"If you get those pancakes, I think I can take a 'whole life.'"

Fudou opened the door, a determined smile on his lips. That was an easy mission, he could accomplish it in return for the best life he could dream of.


End file.
